


seraphim

by orphan_account



Series: their colors don't belong (wolf verse) [2]
Category: VIXX
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dark, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-17
Updated: 2015-07-17
Packaged: 2018-04-09 18:58:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4360592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It made him uneasy: waking in an empty bed with sheets too cold to warm him."</p>
            </blockquote>





	seraphim

**Author's Note:**

> seraph, n. {plural: seraphim}  
> an angelic being belonging to the highest order of the ninefold celestial hierarchy, associated with light, ardor, and purity.

He hardly left the basement anymore; stayed within his own confinement of artificial dark and cool air, oblivious to the snow outside and the passing winds; how the trees bowed beneath the weight of old ice. He'd come upstairs only when Hongbin asked him to (which wasn't often anymore) and stood in the kitchen doorway with his shoulder leaned to the wall, arms crossed like he was being punished for something he didn't do. His mouth arched in a frown and brow furrowed so deeply his eyebrows came together; he'd watch Hongbin pour them coffee and only answer the questions he chose to. Hongbin had long since stopped asking if he was alright.  
  
It made him uneasy: waking in an empty bed with sheets too cold to warm him, walking down stairs that creaked to find Taekwoon asleep on the basement floor with a thin sheet balled beneath his head like a makeshift pillow. So many times Hongbin would shake him awake, ask him to come to bed; and sometimes Taekwoon would, but not nearly as often as Hongbin wished. It didn't seem to matter that the cage stood feet away from where he slept, and that the dank smell of enclosed space was so thick it was heavy. He liked being there, but wouldn't tell Hongbin why; and he was starting to think Taekwoon didn't understand it himself. But as days passed and the moon grew fuller (a heavy silver weight blotted out by thick cloud most nights; leaving the evenings pitch black), it all became obvious—so obvious that Hongbin hardly caught it at first: the way Taekwoon's hands always formed fists, and the clenched set of his jaw like something was hurting him, and in many ways: something was.  
  
-  
  
Six days until the full moon. It was marked on the calendar as all full moons were, and Hongbin was lying spread out on the bed with Taekwoon curled around him; a hand up the front of Hongbin's shirt. It was the first time in a long time he'd lain in bed with Hongbin at all.  
  
Staring at the ceiling, blinking too much; Hongbin breathed deeply. 'I think—' and he bit his mouth shut, turned so his face was away from Taekwoon. 'I think you need to let it out.'  
  
'Let what out,' muffled; he spoke against Hongbin's shoulder.  
  
'You know what I mean,' but Taekwoon kept quiet. Hongbin untangled himself from Taekwoon's arms; laid on his side with his nose pressed to Taekwoon's forehead. He said, 'The wolf, hyung. I think you need to let it out.' His words hung tinny in a room too quiet, and no matter his efforts to look Taekwoon in the eye, Taekwoon kept his face hidden.  
  
'I'm being serious,' Hongbin said. 'You— it's only when you have to change that you let yourself, and it isn't like you  _really_ let yourself. You have no choice. And-and'—he grabbed for Taekwoon's arm as he started to slip away; trying to move from the bed and out of the room—'I think you stay in the basement so much because... because you're afraid that you can't keep it in anymore.'  
  
Sharp glare like he'd been threatened, Taekwoon pulled his arm out of Hongbin's reach and it wasn't so much that he was trying to get away that made Hongbin's heart hurt, but that it seemed he couldn't get away fast enough. Out the room and heading for the stairs, ignoring Hongbin's calls for him to stop; and he was two steps down the basement when, to his disgust, Hongbin felt he was going to cry.  
  
'I'm tired of sleeping alone,' he muttered; and turning back to the room with his arms wrapped tightly about himself, Hongbin never noticed Taekwoon lingering there with his head low between his shoulders.  
  
But he felt him, later that night—much later, the world was silent outside his window—as Taekwoon took Hongbin's right hand into both of his own and brought it to his face. He nuzzled his palm, gentle press of lips to the space where Hongbin's little finger would have gone, and he nudged his face under Hongbin's chin; curled up close to him until Hongbin had no choice but to embrace him.  
  
It was a relief: to feel the unnatural warmth of Taekwoon's body, heat that never went away no matter how cold it was or how long he stood outside; to cuddle up to him instead of a pillow, and have arms wrap about his middle, holding him. But it was short lived; Taekwoon moved as if remembering something important, he kissed Hongbin's cheek loudly, and said, 'Get up.'  
  
'Why.'  
  
'I wanna go.'  
  
'Go where.' Hongbin didn't bother opening his eyes and so didn't see the reluctance pass over his face, but he did hear the sigh Taekwoon released: annoyed and unsure, like maybe he'd made a mistake coming to bed.  
  
'I'm trying to do what you want me to,' Taekwoon said lowly; if the room hadn't been so utterly quiet, Hongbin would have never heard him. 'I don't wanna go alone.'  
  
Hongbin looked at him then, heavy-lidded and blinking slowly; he had a hard time focusing, but felt himself nod. He wouldn't let this moment pass, so out of bed, stumbling on cold floors and letting Taekwoon slip a sweater over his head, scarf around his neck. He handed Hongbin a pair of mittens with a look of apology on his face, as if he was sorry Hongbin had to have mittens at all (gloves didn't fit him right). But he smiled, took them; and said nothing as he slipped them on, hands immediately warmer. Cozy and still half asleep, Hongbin crawled onto Taekwoon's back when he crouched by his feet, and let himself be carried out to the car.  
  
They drove, but not far; only half a mile across snow to sit in a field so wide anyone could get lost in it. Taekwoon left the keys in the ignition, radio turned low; and touching Hongbin's shoulder, he said, 'You stay here. Okay? Keep the heat on, leave the windows closed. Don't smoke. It's too cold for that.'  
  
Hongbin was nursing his head, palm to each of his temples like he was afraid his head would fall off completely; dull thud of his pulse and a sharp headache forming. He wanted to sleep but was wide awake now; and staring at Taekwoon, disbelievingly, he scoffed. 'I'm not gonna stay here.'  
  
'Hongbin—'  
  
'You said you didn't wanna be alone.'  
  
'I don't.'  
  
'You're leaving  _me_  alone.'  
  
Taekwoon faltered, tongue in cheek and a softening of his eyes. 'Ten minutes. Okay? I don't—' he fidgeted with the steering wheel, with his shirtsleeves; he moved as if to touch Hongbin's thigh, then moved away. 'Anything could happen,' he said softly. 'Ten minutes. You.. you judge whether you should stay or not.' It was the clearest way of saying he wasn't sure if Hongbin was safe, and to see the hesitation so deeply embedded on his face made Hongbin want to turn back, go home; anything so long as Taekwoon felt better. But he knew if he left, it'd only be worse.  
  
So: he sat, and he waited; and he asked Taekwoon to leave his clothes behind so they wouldn't get ruined, but he didn't listen. Said he'd fold them somewhere in the field where he could pick them up again, but the wind was stirring and the snow, powder soft, was being lifted from the ground; small flurries obstructing Hongbin's view of the horizon line and leaving him listless. He wondered if he should make Taekwoon leave his clothes behind anyway, but he was already gone.  
  
He steepled his hands in front of himself, turned up the radio then shut it off. Tilt the seat back and stare at the roof until his eyes went cross, and he tricked himself into thinking something was outside the car; that he wasn't really alone, and it scared him so he sat upright and turned on the radio again. He never realized before: just how alone the two of them were out here: miles from the store and any close neighbors. Ideal for boys who keep secrets, but unnerving when the secret is loose.  
  
Unsure if it was ten minutes that passed or only five, maybe twenty, but stiff with unease and afraid of sitting idle in a field half hidden in snow and wind, Hongbin left the car and stood in the freezing cold with his hands in his pockets and his face tipped down. He'd have gotten back in the car if it wasn't for the howl: so deep and hoarse and everything Taekwoon wasn't, bursting from the east with a lagging echo. Hongbin shivered with chills on his arms and a sense of crawling in his spine; a sunken feeling in his stomach that made his knees weak, but he walked forward all the same, called Taekwoon's name until his throat felt raw, then called some more.  
  
And after some time—how long? he wasn't sure—he found it, there: looking small so far away, a stance so wholly animal. Legs—all four of them—spaced far apart like it was bracing itself against the winds, and maybe it was, but Hongbin didn't believe that. He was certain that night, and is still certain now, that when the wolf—out of the stale confinement of a basement so gloomy—saw him for the first time, standing there in a bundle of clothing and no one around, it hadn't recognized Hongbin. Not in the slightest. Arched back and sly footsteps; paws moving slowly over the earth like it was hunting. The wolf never looked away from him. And it was terrifying, to stand there: whole body trembling and so afraid of the wolf coming too close, but it seemed as it crept along, its spine straightened a little more with each step, the fur along its neck smoothed out, until finally—finally—it knew.  
  
Lungs full of air they started to ache, Hongbin wouldn't move until the wolf was close enough; and when it was: apprehension, melting away, was replaced with something like affection. And it was strange, so different than all the times he'd locked Taekwoon in the cage, to see a look abnormal in the wolf's eyes. Like it didn't only recognize Hongbin, but knew it loved him.  
  
Slow exhale, shaking as badly as the rest of him; Hongbin swallowed hard. 'Taekwoon?'  
  
The wolf's head tilted, and it was unmistakable now: it knew exactly who it was. So Hongbin touched him: put his hand on the back of Taekwoon's neck and almost cried out when Taekwoon rushed him, large head butting right into Hongbin's stomach, but not unkindly. He nuzzled against Hongbin's thigh, whole body larger than Hongbin himself; and he felt so small with hands lost in Taekwoon's fur. Then: crouched down, eye level; Hongbin buried his face into Taekwoon's neck. He could feel his heartbeat, so different than when he was human: a delicate pulse under Hongbin's fingers, so fast and powerful and out of sync with Hongbin's own, but he loved it: how different Taekwoon felt against him. And he knew, somehow—felt it in the pit of his stomach—that it wouldn't be the same come the full moon. Taekwoon would be replaced with the beast he'd always been: black, narrowed eyes and teeth bared so menacingly it was always hard for Hongbin to approach him. So he held on harder and pushed his body flush to Taekwoon's own. He gripped his fur so tightly he knew it must have hurt, but Taekwoon didn't whine, never pulled away; simply stood there and let Hongbin latch onto him.  
  
'Okay,' he said but mostly to himself; zero composure, he felt giddy with emotion. So: deep breath, lungs burning with icy air, he kissed the top of Taekwoon's head and told him, 'Go on.' Then, when Taekwoon refused to move: 'I'll be here.'  
  
Back into the car, Taekwoon waiting outside the door like he thought Hongbin would come back out; and when he was sure Hongbin wouldn't: he turned, waited, and glanced back before running off. Black wolf disappearing into black night; and Hongbin, in the car, in a jacket that smelled strongly of Taekwoon; he leaned his forehead to the window, and sighed with relief.


End file.
